but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I want her autograph on my taint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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