My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
