They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
