well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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