i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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