my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
