You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize