ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
