some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
