Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
