Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Panties = found
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