i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
