When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
