oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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