She is in my trunk
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Randomize
