i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
