Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
