shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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