I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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