I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
