Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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