We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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