She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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