Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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