Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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