capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
