I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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