and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize