You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
