redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
