I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.