Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
