Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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