the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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