FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
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Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
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She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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