So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
