Soap is not a condiment
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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