you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
