Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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