I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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