Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize