When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
