Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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