I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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