I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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