i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
