if you like me you must not know who I am
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
