A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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