It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
