Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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