I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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