Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize