dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
how does that bad decision feel?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
