I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
