I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
