Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
