the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
