If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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