she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
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I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
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You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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